I didn’t sleep last night. My body is now overly tired and my back and joints hurt. Maybe I didn’t sleep because of the way I have been feeling emotionally. I have felt worried and uneasy for the last few days, and sad even.
My daughter is still in the Arabian Sea, near the strait of Hormuz. She is onboard a Navy ship as part of the flight crew. So, she is in danger.

I feel our government is the most corrupt as it has ever been. Our economy is failing. Groceries so expensive, it has me wondering how people with children, and mortgages, and car notes are managing. I’m sure most upper middle class people are getting by, but blacks and hispanics, women, and other minorities are struggling to stay afloat. If I had a mortgage, I’d be drowning. If my kids were still little, I’d of had a mental breakdown by now.

My son is struggling to make enough money to fully support himself. He is still working at the YMCA. He has a new Director position which should give him a boost in pay. Still, it is not the job he wants, nor enough money. I pray that he finds the level of success he desires. I think he deserves more. He has put in a great deal of work to make himself qualified for a higher salary. Both he and his sister deserve more.

I’m aging, and I feel it. Something about this stage of my life makes me nervous. It could be circumstances we are facing in the world. It could be the worry I have for my two kids (grown folks though they may be). It could be that I’m closer to death than I have ever have been, age-wise.

I’ve never thought about death much before I turned 60. I’m now 63. Sometimes, I find myself desiring to be done with it, and a little afraid at the same time. I can feel myself holding on to life because I feel my adult kids still need me. Also, I don’t feel I have accomplished my life’s work yet. And I want to be done before I leave. I don’t know if reincarnation is a thing (and it definitely is not taught in Christendom), but if it is a thing, I don’t want to, and I feel I can’t live this life again. Even as I think of such a thing, I’m almost overcome with sadness that it is even a thought in my mind. I am tired!

I don’t know what the days, weeks, and months brings, but at this point, I don’t feel it is going to be good. I have no choice but to keep trusting the Lord and hold on to my faith. I just get overwhelmed sometimes.