It has been a very rough 3 months for me. There have been four deaths in my circle of friends and family. Two deaths were suicides by young men who were only 21 years of age. One was my Uncle in California. The most recent, my former mother-in-law’s soul mate. It began in November just before Thanksgiving until now.

I have a lot of elderly family members and friends, including my own Dad, who is 81 and seems to be going strong. I have an Aunt in Texas, as well as another uncle. I have older cousins in their 60’s. Some are very healthy and some could stand to work on improving their health.

Getting older, unfortunately, brings all of us closer to the ends of our lives, and that of our friends and families. It is not a pleasant reality to be facing. It is somewhat scary, sad, and it is inevitable.

If you are a believer, then you are looking forward to eternal life and resurrection and reunion with family members. It is what makes all of this bearable. I don’t know how I would feel or what I would do if I didn’t have that. Right now I’m somewhat sad, but, I know that one day God’s plan will finally come together and we will all be together again. We’ll have new bodies, no sickness or weakness, or evil influence to ruin things.

I have been a Christian for 34 years. Even now, I still sometimes find it hard to have faith. I find myself afraid sometimes. Of what? I don’t exactly know. But sometimes I’m so uncomfortable in my own skin I get somewhat depressed. In the end, however, it is ultimately my return to my belief in God’s love for me and my family that enables me to survive and return to normalness.

After 34 years I do not have my life, or spirituality, or God figured out. I don’t have a clue. Sometimes I feel so lost. I’m so glad that it is not all up to me and my ability. I really would be lost.

I will get through this time of sadness, and future times of sadness. It is the nature of life here in this world. There will be death until there is not. And I look forward to that day.