For the last couple of weeks, I have been having pain accompanying my tingling fingers. It’s not just a little pain, but a lot. The only relief I have been able to get comes by using an ice pack on my wrist. I tried heat but it didn’t give much relief. The pain has been so bad that it runs up my arm and into my shoulder. It happens more when I lie down. At first, I thought maybe I had been sleeping on my arm, so I began to pay attention to my position in bed when awakened by the pain. Most times, I was flat on my
back and not laying on my arm. I have a doctors appointment which will probably lead to carpal tunnel surgery. I just pray that the doctor actually finds the problem and can make it better.
The pain I have felt in the last few days made me think of death. I realize right now that I’m somewhat afraid of death. In the past 4 years, I have thought about death a lot. My friend Bob passed away just before my Mom. And after that, my friend Jerome passed a year later. So I have had a lot of death in the past few years.
My belief is that I will see them all again in the next life, or when I pass away myself. It is my belief that Jesus defeated death. Yet, I sometimes still have fear about the prospect. Most of the time though I am not afraid and look forward to my time of passing. There are times I feel my Mom’s presence within me. It is the same with my friends Bob and Jerome. I feel them and I sometimes hear them encouraging me. I can feel their love. No doubt this is the work of the Holy Spirit who lives in me.
I can no longer see or hear them in this realm, but through the Spirit of God, I can still experience them in my spirit. Sometimes I dream vivid dreams about friends and family who have gone home to be with the Lord. And that brings me comfort also. The comfort I’m talking about is about death itself.
I guess my fear is about the unknown. On this side, in this dimension, death seems so permanent. I don’t know of anyone who has risen from the dead lately. However, I firmly believe that Jesus has risen and that because He lives I will live too. One thing is for sure, we all face physical death. We will die. Our bodies will be disposed of like a worn out garment. We will be no more in this realm. It is inevitable.
One day I will be gone, and only alive in this realm, in the hearts of those who love me. They will miss me, and my hope is that they know that I am still with them and that they can still experience me through the Spirit of the Lord. My hope also is that they live without fear of the unknown of their own departure from this place. Death is a part of life. The Lord once showed me that it will be much like waking up from a long dream. I’ve heard others say it will be like being born. We will be alive in a new realm.
I feel sure my fears of the unknown will be firmly behind me when my time comes. Until then I will live the best life here that I can. And when I’m gone I will long for those I’ve left behind. I am confident that we will be together again in a new life, a new realm in Christ.