This has been a strange year. I’m glad it is almost over. I haven’t posted very many times to this blog; only 10 times, this one being the 11th. It is December. It seems like the year just flew by.
I was in school at the beginning of the year, taking Culinary Management, Culinary Marketing & Human Resources, History and Intro to Sociology. I got an A in all four classes. I have maintained a 4.0 GPA since I began in 2013.
I am not sure how I feel at this point. I think I am somewhat depressed. I have experienced a lot of physical pain. I have suffered sleep deprivation because of insomnia that my doctor has not figured out.
Spiritual growth? Maybe. I don’t really know. I don’t really know what progress I have made. Perhaps the only progress I have made is in knowing that I am loved by the Lord, no matter what. That is something I didn’t necessarily know for sure in the past. So I would say, in that one respect, that I have grown significantly.
However, I do feel like I am somewhat stalled, but, at the same time, I know that it is not possible to be standing still and not growing at all with the Lord. For the most part, I am bored. Because my sleep schedule is off (completely reversed. It’s 0515 and I have been awake since around 1330 yesterday afternoon), I am awake when everyone else is asleep, and everything is closed. I have been unsuccessful in reversing my sleep cycle, though I have tried.
I hardly see anyone except for my cat, and she gets on my nerves severely. I am usually in pain so I don’t feel like going many places. My house is a mess because I simply don’t feel good enough to get up and do anything about it.
Well, maybe my year hasn’t been that great. Parts of it sound pretty rough. Oh yea, I had surgery in June to relieve pain in my neck. As far as I can tell, there hasn’t been much relief. But the doc said it would take about a year to fully heal.
I did lose some weight this year (on purpose). But lately, the last few months, I have been eating very badly, getting away from the way of eating that enabled me to lose the weight. I have probably regained a lot of the weight. I know it has to do with depression. Probably should look into getting some help.
I’m tired and I’m sad; seems like all the time. I really hope next year will be better. I have 4 classes left to graduate. I don’t know when I’ll get to take those. I have a new saxophone that I haven’t been able to play very much. It is really strange to me that I am no longer driven to play music. It used to be that nothing could stop me from making music, not even sickness.
I have written so little on this blog this year that it is no longer stored on its own server. I have moved it to wordpress.com. It’s just cheaper that way.
Anyway, Christmas is coming. I may post once more before the year is over. Until then…