God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor – not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have already solemnly warned you before. (1Thessalonians 4:3-6)

It does not matter whether you think someone’s marriage is over, or, she told you that they were separated, or, that they have filed for divorce, you are not to violate someone else by sleeping with their husband or wife. PERIOD!

The verse above says that the Lord avenges ALL SUCH SINS.

The first time Abram and Sarai entered into Egypt he was afraid they would kill him in order to take his wife away from him. So he had Sarai agree with him when he lied and told the Pharaoh that she was his sister. This caused Pharaoh to take Sarai into his palace, apparently intending to make her one of his wives. However, look what happens…

.. but the Lord sent terrible plagues upon Pharaoh and his household because of Sarai, Abram’s wife. So Pharaoh summoned Abram and accused him sharply. “What have you done to me?” he demanded. “Why didn’t you tell me she was your wife? Why did you say, ‘she is my sister,’ and allow me to take her as my wife? Now then, here is your wife. Take her and get out of here!” Pharaoh ordered some of his men to escort them, and he sent Abram out of the country, along with his wife and all his possessions. (Gen 12:17-20)

Notice in this passage that, even though Pharaoh had no idea that Sarai was Abram’s wife the Lord took action against him, by sending terrible plagues upon him and his household.

Again after Abram’s name was changed to Abraham he

..moved south to the Negev and lived for a while between Kadesh and Shur, and then he moved on to Gerar. While living there as a foreigner, Abraham introduced his wife, Sarah, by saying, “She is my sister.” So King Abimelech of Garar sent for Sarah and had her brought to him at his palace. But that night God came to Abimelech in a dream and told him, “You are a dead man, for that woman you have taken is already married!” (Gen 20:1-3)

Abimelech had not slept with Sarah so the Lord spared his life. The next day Abimelech returned Sarah to her husband and sent them away with gifts.

The point is the king nearly lost his life for taking another man’s wife.

You might be thinking, this is the old testament. However, the first verse I gave you at the beginning is a new testament verse. Do you not believe God still feels the same way in our day and time? It is not something I would want to chance.

In fact I am guilty of this very sin. Yes, the woman had been separated from her husband. Yes, he was in jail most of the time. Yes, he used to beat her. It did not justify my sin of being with another man’s wife.

Did I pay for it? I think I did. It didn’t come until years later when I was married.  Had I been caught by her husband I could have been injured in the very least or, I could have been killed. Why do I say this? Because when someone violated me and slept with my wife, I wanted to kill them.

I reaped what I sowed. Someone did it to me. And it only keeps getting worse because, the man who violated me claimed to be my friend and a brother in Christ. He lost his 9 year old daughter in a car accident not even a year later.

I am not, and never was, in anyway pleased by this unfortunate tragedy. I bring this up because Christians don’t seem to know how serious God is about violating the sanctity of marriage. I can’t tell you what God may do to avenge this sin. But I do believe, He will avenge it.

At the time of this writing I don’t think I had ever asked the Lord for forgiveness for my actions back then. He has of course forgiven me. I was in such a frame of mind back then that I was only interested in my selfish needs. I was not thinking about how my actions were affecting other people. I was trapped in my sin.

The bible says if we sow to our flesh we will of the flesh reap destruction. It could come years later or it could come much quicker. But God will not be mocked.

Don’t get on the wrong side of this command to abstain from sexual immorality, to stay away from other men’s wives, and other women’s husbands. It is not worth it. You don’t know what it will cost you. I lost my marriage. The man who participated in my loss lost his young daughter. What will you lose?

Repent of your sin and remember who you are in Christ. Don’t live your life like the people of this world. You have been bought with a price. You have been given the righteousness of God in Christ. Walk in that reality.

Peace to you.


One thought on “You Shall Not Covet Your Neighbor’s Wife

  1. Very good writing brother. It expands a lot upon our values and the other angle of Love many do not see. Those who indulge in an affair often do not perceive the hurt to the third person.

    The command of Christ is Love, when predisposed of a marital situation, kindness should be shown toward the adulterers spouse. I find it intriguing that many people don’t view that aspect. Desiring a Married persons spouse, or engaging in an affair with them is equally bad as committing adultery.

    Peace to you too!


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